I have come to the rather amusing conclusion that I have a tendency toward the dramatic. (A brief pause to allow my family the opportunity to roll their eyes at my “epiphany.”) I mostly blame it on my mom, who has been known to tear around the house with cartoon-print underwear plastered to her head with little tufts of hair poking out of the leg-holes like floppy ears while she charges after squealing youngsters as her alter-ego, “Mad Muscles Mamma,” wrestling any unlucky captive to the ground with fits of laughter in true WWF-worthy fashion. I’d say it’s hereditary. And you just can’t fight the genes. So I’m dramatic.
While my dramatic flare never got me too far on the stage, it helped me live up to the stereotypical “angst” of my teenage years and made high school a never-ending soap opera, with new problems the size of mountains lurking in each daily episode.
Now, several years older, and (hopefully) more mature and self-aware, I still find that drama adds a little spice to my life—like a quick twist of the pepper-grinder. You know, the exaggerated pause in the middle of a story, or the unnecessary (but oh-so-satisfying) scream at the crunch of a cockroach under your feet. So when I walked into the swanky hair salon in Nelspruit this weekend to have my hair cut for the first time in (apparently) far too long, I rather enjoyed Honor, the over-the-top stylist who led me to my swivel chair. She struck me as someone who could be related to the Osbournes, with her burgundy-spiked hair and wild hand gestures. And as I yanked my hair out of its ponytail, she gasped.
“My girl, what
have you done to your hair?!”
One hand to the mouth. Head Shake. Tongue click.
“Well, I live in Mozambique, and—“
(another gasp) “The water is
horrible there! How ever do you manage?!”
Now I shake my head and click my tongue.
“I know…sometimes we don’t even HAVE water!” I figure a little drama can only be made better by more drama.
Sympathetic sigh. “And do you have to spend time, like, out in the middle of nowhere?”
“Girl, I LIVE out in the middle of nowhere” Now I am playing along like I was written into the script.
Another Gasp. More sighs. A slow head shake. (This is getting good).
She puts her hand on my shoulder, “this must really be a labor of love.”
(Well it’s certainly not for the money!) I sigh a long, theatrical, “yeah…”
We exchange a knowing nod.
“Well,” she says, suddenly brightening up, “Now I get why your hair looks like a dog chewed on it, living out in the sticks and all.”
She’s apparently been placated that I hadn’t intentionally allowed my locks to reach the state they had, and I didn’t intend on telling her that it was more out of pure neglect than any formidable outside force that had rendered my hair so shamefully noxious.
“Now don’t you worry, my girl, on my Honor (she laughed at her own cute play on her name) I’m going to take care of this hair of yours. You’ll see, everything is going to be just fine!”
A half-hour of washing, snipping, primping, drying, styling, gelling and oohing and ahhing later, I walked out with a great new head of hair and a few less dollars in my pocket. And she was right, everything was indeed “just fine.”
But in the days since, Honor has gotten me thinking about drama and hairstylists and God.
Sometimes I think that God sees my life’s dramas—the relationships and decisions and lessons and whatever that I agonize over—in the same humored way that I took Honor and her drama. In the end, we both know that the state of my hair is of such little importance, that dramatizing it is just pure amusement. I think sometimes He plays along, gasping and clicking and sighing, not out of mockery, but out of the pure delight in the fact that my drama is as “fixable” as damaged hair. I think if you were to compare Him with me and my self-righteous, “My life and problems are soooo important” drama, or Honor’s “My God, what have you done to your hair?!” drama, He would be more like Honor. Not because He is petty or condescending or flippant, but because I like to imagine that sometimes when I walk into His “salon” with my life in total disarray, he likes to gasp with a knowing gleam in his eye and say “Becca, my girl, what
have you done with yourself?!” And then likes to lay his loving hand on my shoulder and say “Now don’t you worry, my girl, on my Honor, I am going to take care of this mess of yours! You’ll see, everything is going to be just fine.”
And when I yield to his comb and scissors and deft hands, he turns me around to the mirror and I see what a great job he has done and he gleams with pride, not just at his handiwork, but at
me. Because, like Honor, He simply enjoys the opportunity to take an absolute mess and make it beautiful—make
me beautiful. Yep, God is like the ultimate hairstylist for your weather-wearied soul!